JoseDominguez
03-01-2004, 14:11
Well, just spent about a week watching the latest slice of hobbit homo-erotica (are they all gay?) and the film needs one final sequence.
Gandalf: Well done Frodo, you saved middle earth, have the last 13 months been hard?
Frodo: been meaning to have a word actualy mate..... 13 months hard travel......took a lot out of me.
Gandalf: yes
Frodo: Stabbed by the witch King, that'll never heal.
Gandalf: ouch
Frodo: Poor Boromir..... shot to crap by orcs, did you see the state of the arrows..... none to sanitary.
Gandalf: He will be missed.
Frodo: Then there was all that running through mountains, almost froze to death, nearly drowned a couple of times too.
Gandalf: you've had it hard.
Frodo: Then that bloody Golum..... irritating little get, and the ring draining my life and driving me mad.
Gandalf: Yes, you have been tested.
Frodo: Yup, not even mentioning the spider that poisoned me, although it can't have been a spider as it had a sting not a bite.
Gandalf: Wondered about that myself, didn't want to be picky.
Frodo: Then all of those riders of Rohan and the men of Gondor who died to distract that lighthouse bloke.
Gandalf: Their sacrifice was great.
Frodo: Damn skippy, all so I could get up to that volcano, which was no picnic and ditch the ring........oh, and that little sod had me finger off as well.
Gandalf: We thought we'd lost you for a while.
Frodo: Then I almost died, but you showed up in the nick of time with all of those eagles.
Gandalf: Ah, thanks are not required.
Frodo: Those eagles that you flew all the way to mount doom on, you know, past the wastes and the orcs and the goblins.
Gandalf: Yes.
Frodo: Where the F**k were those B**stard eagles a year ago?
Gandalf: Good point, that would have saved you a lot of bother wouldn't it?
Cut to close up on Frodo as he sticks glimmer right up Gandalfs skirt.
Coming soon:LOTR 4: Return of the queens..... Merry and Pippins quest to find a halfling priest that does gay weddings.
And since when does walloping people with a stick make you a wizard? In three films gandalf's only magic is shining a light at some nazghuls and summoning the eagles......... the greatest sorcery in middle earth amounts to a mag lite and a nokia.
Gandalf: Well done Frodo, you saved middle earth, have the last 13 months been hard?
Frodo: been meaning to have a word actualy mate..... 13 months hard travel......took a lot out of me.
Gandalf: yes
Frodo: Stabbed by the witch King, that'll never heal.
Gandalf: ouch
Frodo: Poor Boromir..... shot to crap by orcs, did you see the state of the arrows..... none to sanitary.
Gandalf: He will be missed.
Frodo: Then there was all that running through mountains, almost froze to death, nearly drowned a couple of times too.
Gandalf: you've had it hard.
Frodo: Then that bloody Golum..... irritating little get, and the ring draining my life and driving me mad.
Gandalf: Yes, you have been tested.
Frodo: Yup, not even mentioning the spider that poisoned me, although it can't have been a spider as it had a sting not a bite.
Gandalf: Wondered about that myself, didn't want to be picky.
Frodo: Then all of those riders of Rohan and the men of Gondor who died to distract that lighthouse bloke.
Gandalf: Their sacrifice was great.
Frodo: Damn skippy, all so I could get up to that volcano, which was no picnic and ditch the ring........oh, and that little sod had me finger off as well.
Gandalf: We thought we'd lost you for a while.
Frodo: Then I almost died, but you showed up in the nick of time with all of those eagles.
Gandalf: Ah, thanks are not required.
Frodo: Those eagles that you flew all the way to mount doom on, you know, past the wastes and the orcs and the goblins.
Gandalf: Yes.
Frodo: Where the F**k were those B**stard eagles a year ago?
Gandalf: Good point, that would have saved you a lot of bother wouldn't it?
Cut to close up on Frodo as he sticks glimmer right up Gandalfs skirt.
Coming soon:LOTR 4: Return of the queens..... Merry and Pippins quest to find a halfling priest that does gay weddings.
And since when does walloping people with a stick make you a wizard? In three films gandalf's only magic is shining a light at some nazghuls and summoning the eagles......... the greatest sorcery in middle earth amounts to a mag lite and a nokia.