Joke time

[Redeyed]

Why are woman like parking space's?

....Because the best one are took, and the rest are handycapt....


:-) post your jokes

[Mr. Longbeard]

:-) post your jokes

OK, you start :rolleyes:

[joejoe]

why did the dinosaur cross the road?

because it was the chicken's day off!

[Scrumpy]

my friend had a penis extension the other week! Now his house looks stupid!
Accidently put diesel in the escort. She died!
i don't like kissing a girl and realising she's got her eyes open. i keep thinking bugger! she's coming round!

[The Crimson King]

Q: what do you get if you cross a spud with a penis?
A: a dictator.....

Q: what do you do if you come across an elephant?
A: appologise and wipe it off.... ;)

[Jack_Judge]

knock knock
whos there
bigish
bigish who
not today thanks!

[joejoe]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alva!
Alva who?
Alva heart!

[A-Dawg]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Me, I kill you
:D

[tubby]

aye you got that of of Jeff dunhams achmed the dead terrorist:eek:

its ace:D

[Dru]

whats this?
sorry no that wont work its one of those visual ones!:D :rolleyes:

[motomouth3]

how do you get a fat girl into bed ????

peice a cake :D

[Chris-M]

man walks into a doctors surgery with a steering wheel down his pants
doctor asks "what happened?"
man says "dont kno but its driving me nuts"

[motomouth3]

ok dunno if this is a joke or riddle thing but...

jims mum has four kids... north, east, south whats the other kid called?




jim because its his mum now how many people thought west?

[Jack_Judge]

ok dunno if this is a joke or riddle thing but...

jims mum has four kids... north, east, south whats the other kid called?




jim because its his mum now how many people thought west?

A riddly joke oohh i feel tingly:D

[M600]

telling these kind of jokes is gonna be harder than a priest in a play ground..

[Jack_Judge]

telling these kind of jokes is gonna be harder than a priest in a play ground..

:eek: That not nice

[melty]

why is bungee jumping alot like getting a blowjob from your gran?

its alot of fun but dont look down!

[Jack_Judge]

:mad: thanks for that ben:p

[D3ath ADder]

I'll keep them clean, although I know some belting 'wrong' ones.

Q What does Oscar the Grouch do when he finds out his girlfriend has cheated on him?
A He dumpster.

I lost my job at the orange juice factory...
I just couldn't concentrate.

Q What is brown and sounds like sonar?
A POOP! (say high pitched)

Q Brown and sounds like a bell?
A Dung!

Q Blue and smells like red paint?
A Blue paint

Did any of you guys go to the circus? It was in tents.

Q Why did the doctor stop helping anorexics
A His patients grew thin.

[Khanzo]

Girls:

If you get a message from your boyfriend saying that he wants to "kick your puppy", don't call the RSPCA...

He's just not very good at predictive text.




Got home from the pub at 3 o clock this morning and the missus was waiting at the door with a rolling pin.
I said "What the **** you doing baking at this hour?"



Cleaner than my usual ones

-Mat

[Jack_Judge]

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicos, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.

The farmer said, "I buried 'em all... out back."

The sheriff then asked, "Were they ALL dead?"

The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

[Stokecity_m]

Whats brown and sticky?

















my poo :)

[melty]

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

[robbo]

An irish family froze to death outside the Dublin Odean cinema last week after queing for 3 weeks to see closed for the winter:p