View Full Version : I stink.....how hardcore am I!!!
SlipperySquid
21-11-2005, 08:45
Played the walk on yesterday, and i havent washed yet.....started cleaning my gear when i got in last night....fell asleep on the floor...woke up this morning , and i must say i'm ripe to say the least.Got that really beefy bollock aroma going and my armpits are good enough to make your eyes water.Made the leathal mistake of doing the single finger scratch of the bumhole and cant get rid of the smell offa my finger, dont know if i should wash now or just see how long i can go before somone mentions to me that i'm on the ripe side.
Might see if i can take this to the "rotting meat " level?.
Any ideas fellas?
squid you have just made my day, im sat here at my desk wetting myself!
Keep it goigng, we could have a sponcered event
collier-666
21-11-2005, 12:31
me&a mate have gone four days before.without touching water or a shaver.
if you can go longer...i solute you.i think the pokey bum thing is a bit extreme for me though.that stuff reeks
The Crimson King
21-11-2005, 16:07
that reminds me:rolleyes: , it's about time for my anual bath.......no realy, it is:D
papalongchops
21-11-2005, 16:47
Squids stories are the best ever and he tells them with such enthusiasm. You should get a jack & ory story time job on cbeebies:D Probably not a good idea telling them about the one finger wonder technique though mate:)
yes, your hard core - now go wash - i can smell you from here :O
Keep it going mate. You can do it, stay as long as you can. You got to keep us posted, tell us when some one mentions it OK? :P
robtattoo
21-11-2005, 18:03
ceep it going man u can do it stay as long as u can u got to ceep us poseted tel us when some one menches it k :D
WHAT????
www.spellcheck.com
Find it, use it.
ceep it going man u can do it stay as long as u can u got to ceep us poseted tel us when some one menches it k :D
I will try and translate
Keep it going squid, you can do it, do it for as long as you can. Keep us posted and tell us when some one complains ok?
I think that's near enough
paintordie
21-11-2005, 18:14
i think its when someone mentions it ? yayyyyyyyyy i speak chav :D
seany boy
21-11-2005, 18:49
yayyyyyyyyy i speak chav :D
Its not hard :rolleyes:
chav= or am well ard me, i got sum new trackies and tucked them into my socks
there u go that sums up a chav now for a joke
what do you call a chave in a blender
MUSH:p
Keep it up Squid.
We should have a Talkpaintball thread of world records.
Most time without washing
Squid ** days - Ongoing
Most guns owned in one year
Gasman - 12
Most customers insulted in 1 day
Rob - 55
Most Madcap Invention
Bod - Anything he has ever made
Most gullible marshal
Red Terror - Just run around in the pred suit and we'll shoot you to see if you are up to the job ....OK!!
We have an initiation procedure for new marshals. You run away and we shoot you to bits .....OK!!
Most useless paintball product
Kev (Lynx) - South american style paintball pot filler.
Most gullible Forum Members
2 - The two lads who ordered the 9000psi bottles on April Fools day. (Going to try that on an American forum next time, expect a crashed server)
jokersmoker
21-11-2005, 21:23
and oddest people. its like fatbobs. he's not called bob. and my mate greg, he's called craig.
Yeah but come on Tim, "Medium-build Andy's Paintball"......?
:D
Oh, and i have a nomination, most paintball equpiment broken in one year "frontmandan"....dont give this guy any tools. EVER ;)
(you know i love you tho daniel)
Mr. Longbeard
22-11-2005, 11:55
Glad to be an Octopus
Oh joy, I am an octopus
'Tis something quite sublime,
So glad I'm not a stinky squid
Draped in smelly slime.
An octopus does look so cute
Playing sweetly upon his flute,
But a squid can barely bang a drum,
What is it like to be so dumb?
It is the octopus who wears the crown
Because he drinks Newkie Brown,
And the squid squad are nought but snailies
Sipping at their sickly Baileys.
Yes, I'm proud to be an octopus,
Prince of all the mollusks,
And as for those losers, squids,
They're just a load of scallops.
WHAT????
www.spellcheck.com
Find it, use it.
Well I am sorry I am dyslexic and its easier for me to use text. I am sorry but who gives a damn, all I know is that I can shoot paint :mad: and I'M NOT A F***ING CHAV....their ass holes. I don't were trackys I wear my Dye gear, and chavs dont were Dye gear
PS - the spellchecker doesnt work
The Crimson King
22-11-2005, 18:30
right, calm down before you wet yourself, and learn to not rise up to people when ever they make a small joke or point out small mistakes, as people will be doing it for the rest of your life so GET USED TO IT! secondly, that pred thing was a bit fun actualy, a little pain never hurt anybody:p
well it hurt you matt,
but seriously you took a lot more then i imagined, and 60+ punters will be far worse
taylor110
22-11-2005, 18:34
yer i get the piss taken out of me on here but i don't rise up and just take there help when given
p.s thats how i make frends well havn't made any yet but i will try :D
No, I was just saying. But I really hate chavs:mad:
heh, you made a mate........ME :D
The Crimson King
22-11-2005, 18:36
who dosen't mate, who dosen't:p oh and hou, punters won't have promasters:eek:
taylor110
22-11-2005, 18:39
lee u had to kill ma joke lol
very true matt but i was far enough away and only used a 140 pot of paint and didnt empty it
alan phoenix
22-11-2005, 19:20
ok folks back on topic sort of.
I think squid should wear his pb clothing while doing his unwashed challenge, so he can answer the question, doesa furry green growth on bb gear promote bounces.:D
The Crimson King
22-11-2005, 19:25
would that be moss, or mould though, as the spores from the mould could turn him into a bio enhanced superman, whereas the maoss would sap his energy by draining his blood:rolleyes:
alan phoenix
22-11-2005, 20:57
would be a combination of the two, thus one cancelling out the effects of the other. the only side effect it would have, is to cause new threads to be posted asking why is there a strange green mist over the hull area.:D
The Crimson King
23-11-2005, 07:38
sightings of the creature from the black lagoon would increase 10fold, and people would soon start complainig about a moss covered tree walking about the streets:rolleyes: see what you have caused squidie, DO YOU SEE!?:eek:
Yeah but come on Tim, "Medium-build Andy's Paintball"......?
"Athletic".
It's the shop that's called Fat Bobs
SlipperySquid
23-11-2005, 11:46
Ok update......
Thanks for all the replies and messages of support i really couldn't do this without you all.
Well things are looking bad, the worse area has to be the bum-hole at the moment as i think it's starting to colonise bacteria on a grand scale and i may have some kind of anal yeast infection going on....think yogurty discharge with the added bonus of brown soup!!!!Have had to buy some always duo pant liners ,they are doing a good job and stop any of my bum yogurt getting onto seats and furniture!
Doing nights at the moment and i have been ostracised from the rest of my fellow workers.I have heard comments like " Can anyone smell beef soup" and the classic "Asda is doing deodorant two for one at the moment" but the strange thing is no one has directly said any thing to me??????
My armpits are seriously reeking at the moment and seem to get worse with every day that passes, is there some kind of scale for measuring the fetid smell that emanates from my nether regions!!! i don't know but will endeavor to find out.....
Strangely enough i am becoming fond of my own bodily odours and don't really notice them that much but my kids have informed me that i smell like a "dead dog that's been rolled in shit"!
How can describe my own smell....well think....beefy tomatoey soupy.,...with a hefty dose of boiled onions and a sort of tangy after odour that smacks the back of the throat and takes your breath away....I don't know how long i can keep this up for as the bum gravy is getting outta control and i really should see a doctor.
I must admit one thing though , and that is I'm washing my hands before everymeal , and it's confusing my work colleagues, they know i reak of satans arse itself , and yet I'm constantly going on about the need to make sure you have clean hands when eating etc....i think they think i have finally lost it ya know....I think the final thing i should do is wipe a bum gravy encrusted finger on there possessions, there's a couple of fellas that ride motorbikes to work and leave there crash helmets in the lobby....so maybe they can take a bit of squid home with them....driving in excess of 100 mph with your visor up to get rid of the smell....yes i can see it now....
Finally to C1ARKE look upon your dyslexia as a gift not a hindrance. To make all around you laugh and giggle at your expense is something that i am acutely aware of and should be used to maximum effect in getting your own way in life, a classic example would be getting a job in an office....spicing up the boring mundane everyday office life with your inability to write coherently in any way shape or form!!! even better getting you to write speeches for the boss when he has to make important presentations the look on his face when he picks up his lovingly prepared speech on to find a jumbled up mess of spazzed out words would be priceless to say the least, so stop thinking of yourself as a victim of life and more that you are a gifted person with a message to give to the world.....of course no one will understand your writing as it would look like some one has just repeatedly head butted a typewriter but.......at least you will.
God bless you all.....and may you all have a happy Christmas and a great new year.
P.S C1ARKE , is it possible to hire you out for my Christmas party to read "the night before Christmas or something"? .......
love squid,
"making everyday a smiley day"
squid im physically crying here, i havent read something that funny in a very long time, my boss just commented on my giggling, saying she doesnt even want to know what im reading
The Crimson King
23-11-2005, 16:20
squidy and his anal rantings.........hmmmmm, you know, you could probrably sell beefy bum gravy to tescos or something, coz it'd be better than that value s**t they do. also, when you become super mossy mouldy man you could sell yourself to marvel, and become the newest action hero around, with super bum gravy in your bike helmet ability, with little action figures that have bum gravy attack features, and smell my fingure attacks:rolleyes: you could be a millionaire, and all you need is the right agent, and squid,........ i want to be that agent;) :p ohh, and then theres the collectable cards, (they'd be alot more interesting than pokemon, for sure) and the lunchboxes and bill boards. you'd be a celebrity, even if it is one that reeks of anal juices and beefy poo. THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES
alan phoenix
23-11-2005, 16:21
Way to go squid, keep it up mate and your desire to enter the guinness book of records as a biological weapon will be fullfilled.
Anyway, as they say at portland down,live, pong and prosper.:D
taylor110
23-11-2005, 17:46
squidy i look up to you because u make us all smaill with your crazy threads God bless you squid :D
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